via WPRI
Two suitcases stuffed with cash were found with the help of Barrington youths, and now the government has filed a document to seize $195,000, alleging it was possibly the profit from an illegal marijuana growing operation in Scituate.
“The police noted a strong odor of marijuana emanating from the currency,” a federal court document stated.
The two cash stashes are named as defendants in the federal verified complaint filed last Thursday.
According to the document, the government is trying to seize the $195,000 based on laws that allow “civil forfeiture of monies involved in or used to facilitate drug trafficking.”
The document stated an unnamed Barrington parent brought a waterproof suitcase with $110,000 in it to the town’s police station on October 15, saying their child had found it the day before in the woods behind a home on Wampanoag Trail.
A parent had counted the money according to the document, with police counting it again with the assistance from a local bank.
The first suitcase “had two padlocks on it” and was discovered “by youths who were playing in the woods,” the filing stated. Barrington police searched “the same area, [and] noticed a second, similar looking case that appeared to have been wedged into a tree.”
The second suitcase also had two padlocks on it, and 42 bundles of cash that totaled $85,000 inside. The complaint indicated the money was secured in a way that “is consistent with how drug traffickers group money.”
Wait, wait, wait just one damn minute! If this is not the most classic case of “finders keepers, losers weepers”, then I don’t know what is!
Let’s think about it, here we have the best darn teenage explorers since Goonies out searching for treasure and low and behold these modern day Hardy Boys sniff out the find of a lifetime.
Mistake number one, telling your parents. Parents NEVER make the right decision when it comes to finding hidden drug lord cash. Ever. Mistake number two, going to the police, because you know the feds are going to make a move on the cash. This is 101 type stuff, folks.
This reminds me of the fable of the man in the flood
A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.
Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”
The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”
So the rowboat went on.
Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”
To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the motorboat went on.
Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”
To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.
Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”
To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”
Let this be a lesson to everyone. When God smiles upon you, take the help and keep your mouth shut!
And PS – I’m not alleging anything, it’s a probably just a coincidence that the suitcase the cops found had $25,000 less in it.
